Monday 14 May 2012

Suddenly...

Then suddenly it’s over.
One heartfelt Rosary, one sincere and silent plea and months of agonizing limbo are undone.
The winds fill the sails sure and strong. At first I suspected that the wind would die and fail again but it has remained and our journey has begun. The ship cuts through the water with uncanny speed, the bow throwing up salty spray and everything becomes frenzied action!
There are goods to stow away and secure, there’s excess to be thrown overboard and a destination to prepare for!
The Haunt has been sold! Our dream home given up for a different, better dream. I won't lie through a brave smile and say I don't feel regret and sorrow because I do. I was hoping things would be different but things change, people change and with that countries change. My hopes and dreams are different now and (excuse the pun) so I move with them.
Now there are new fears and different anxieties which aren’t unexpected or unwanted. With every motion forward, my stomach drops and my heart soars! It’s an unusual and conflicting feeling.
Every time I see a jet plane high up in the sky I become excited and nervous because I know that when I board that plane I depart on, that everything’s come to a head. When I hear strains of the song “Leaving on a Jet Plane”, I feel the tears welling up because I know that day is inevitable. The day I leave my family for a while and I know my heart will barely remain intact but it must be – neigh has to be - done. It’s everything we’ve planned towards – heartache for a greater reward.
For the first while when we are homeless, we’ll live with my parents. They’re so excited it’s funny to see. My mother’s looking forward to having a ‘big family’ again and I think seeing their only grand-daughter daily has massive appeal!
Our ship will dock in those friendly waters for a few months while I prepare and travel ahead to Belgium.
For now though, the winds are hard and strong. Everything is frenzied action and moving forward fast!
Ciao for now.

2 comments:

  1. Goodness. This is both exciting and nerve-racking. I am happy that your dreams are finally moving forward and I understand your anxiety too. I will be praying for you and yours.

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